i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
