when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
