i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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