remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
