is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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