I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
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If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
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I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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