My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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