you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
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