Its about making memories worth repressing
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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