theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
