Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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