oh fat girl friday strikes again...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
