meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
