just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
