When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Randomize
