The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Farmville is her only friend.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
