$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
i think im in europe. pls send help
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
