i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize