Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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