I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
