guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
