i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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