Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
she looked like the before picture.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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