the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize