Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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