I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
