So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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