You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
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