Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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