And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
What drink are we having for lunch?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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