My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize