So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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