So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
