It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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