R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
