If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
