The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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