DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?