I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that