if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who