I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.