Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.