I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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