If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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