i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
