And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize