I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
