I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize