i can't believe i had my finger in that
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i dont even know how to be here
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
