I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
