Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Pants are for mortals
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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