genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
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