is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
