She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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